I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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