I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
There's always time for handjobs
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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