This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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