so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
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i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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