Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
