3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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