Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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