That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
