Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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