grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
