Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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