Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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