You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
