We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
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we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
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Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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