well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
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I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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