didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
