I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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