I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
