I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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