guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
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