So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
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all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
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She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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