i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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