do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
How external is "for external use only"?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
