i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
