i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
