It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
