in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
