I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
