Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
