Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
