We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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