Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The air was thick with penises
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
