a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
