Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
