her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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