so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
