I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
