You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
