if i can run in heels then i can drive
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
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At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.