P.S. I can't hear my feet
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in