Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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