I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
