remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
