Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just high enough for therapy.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
