you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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