Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
