He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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