i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
