I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
