ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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