i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize