Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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