we have officially lost it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
