allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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