Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
