Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
