Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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