Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
