Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
