Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
be right there i have to get my cape
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
